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| The Diagnosis | |
 曲绘 by a_kaeyada | |
| 演唱 | 见#CAST |
| 作词 | Kim Jinhyoung，Marcus Perkins Bejarano |
| 作曲 | Kim Jinhyoung，Marcus Perkins Bejarano |
| 编曲 | Kim Jinhyoung |
| 后期 | LinkingHearts，Kim Jinhyoung |
《The Diagnosis》是a_kaeyada制作的原神主题动画音乐短剧，由Marcus Perkins Bejarano、Daniel J. Edwards、Zachary Noah Piser等演唱，于2023年4月16日发布。截至目前已有 -- 次观看， -- 人收藏。
本片为HoYoFair 2023春季 原神同人特别节目「春日惊奇乐园」的单品之一。
概括
音乐剧讲述了卡维与赛诺、提纳里小聚时，向他们吐槽室友艾尔海森，却被兰巴德酒馆里的众人劝告要直面自己真实想法，最后承认自己嫉妒艾尔海森又被本人撞见的故事。
标题“The Diagnosis”意为“诊断、结论”。
STAFF
- 作词、作曲：Kim Jinhyoung & Marcus Perkins Bejarano
- 编曲：Kim Jinhyoung
- 吉他：Hui Juhn Kim
- 后期音频： LinkingHearts, Kim Jinhyoung
- 动画：えんぴつ（a_kaeyada）
CAST
- 赛诺：Daniel J. Edwards
- 提纳里：Zachary Noah Piser
- 艾尔海森：Kim Jinhyoung
- 卡维：Marcus Perkins Bejarano
- 兰巴德：Gavin Knittle
- 其他路人：Q Lim
歌曲
宽屏模式显示视频
歌词
| 本段落中所使用的歌词，其著作权属于原著作权人，仅以介绍为目的引用。 |
- 对白部分使用斜体字标出。
- 翻译：Crepus[1]
That's why rooming with Alhaitham is the worst.
这就是为什么和艾尔海森做室友最糟糕了。
Oh,and another thing.He's been wearing my limited edition weasel house slippers!
哦还有，他穿了我的限量款黄鼬拖鞋！
Kaveh,stop complaining about Alhaitham.
卡维，别再抱怨艾尔海森了。
Besides,why would he wear you slippers?
而且他干嘛非得穿你的拖鞋？
He's so much richer than you.
他比你有钱那么多，
If he wanted,he could buy thousands of them.
如果他想的话，给自己买上百千双都行。
Ehh!On top of everything else,I think I'm getting sick…
呃呃，最重要的是，我觉得我难受……
At the mention of Alhaitham maybe.
可能一提到艾尔海森就这样吧。（笑）
Kaveh,as a Forest Watcher,I've seen my share of ailments.
卡维，作为巡林官，我给人看过的小毛病还挺多的。
If you'd like with Cyno's help I can diagnose you.
如果你乐意的话，我和赛诺可以一块帮你做个检查噢。
Do you think this is serious?!Tell me what you see.
我的情况严重吗？你看着怎么样？
Cheeks are sunken Like an old man's as he dies
双颊凹陷 像老人临终模样
(What?)
（啥？）
And from the bulging of your eyes
双目鼓胀也预兆
You've got the most severe of cases
你大概已经病入膏肓
(Dianosis
（诊断书：
At this point,
综合症状来看，
you look like
你的状态像
a withered fungus…)
一只枯焦的蕈兽……）
(That's just how my face is!)
（我脸本来就这样啊！）
Posture's shrunken Nausea is your new routine
枯瘪憔悴 之后伴随着反胃
It's up to us to intervene
就让我们来揭晓
And shed a light on what your symptoms mean
你的病因再对症下药
All the indicators Tell us You're jealous(Huh?)
种种迹象不难回答 你嫉妒他（哈？）
It's safe to say Alhaitham's great renown
艾尔海森事业飞黄腾达
In Teyvat brings you down
有你难及的荣华
They tell us You're jealous
承认吧 你嫉妒他
You're diagnosed Let's toast to nature's laws
诊断完成 是自然天性萌发
You're symptoms have a cause
症与因多自洽
This is crazy!
你们疯了！
Who makes you think I'm jealous of Alhaitham?
是什么让你们觉得我在嫉妒艾尔海森啊？
It's his look It's his vibe
是他气场、他外貌
It's his status as a Scribe
他大书记官的名号
Bet you nag him like a spouse
猜你总抱怨又吐槽
Because you can't afford his house(Hey!)
正是因为没法把房租交（喂！）
It's the"clap,clap,claps"
是人们啪啪啪鼓掌
He gots as Acting Grand Sage
称颂他年轻的荣耀
Do you snap,snap,snap
而你唰啦啦
Because his youth reminds you of your age?
相形失色 学长面子要难保
Turn the page!
再者说
It could be the fact that you want his wage
你难道不想和他工资一般高
Since you're always short of Mora
毕竟你熟悉囊中羞涩
You know debt like I know flora
堪比我熟悉花和草
For a second just reflect
你大可好好思考
And respect our intellect
称赞我们智慧的高妙
Our theory isn't off-the-cuff It's obvious
这结论不言而喻 经得起推敲
I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!
我受够了！！！
Fellas,he's jealous
伙计们 他嫉妒啦
(Oh,come on)
（天，拜托……）
No wonder why!
不必见怪
If I was broke as you
谁手头没钱花
I'd feel pathetic too
都难免低气压
As clues accrue
将线索归纳
They tell us You're jealous
不难回答 你嫉妒他
You're diagnosed!Let's toast to nature's laws
诊断完成 是自然天性萌发
You're symptoms have a cause
症与因多自洽
You've been in Denial A while
你总是 在否认 在挣扎
But it'd be best
但可曾尝试
If you confessed the way you really feel
一吐为快去倾诉真实想法
You'd share it We'd hear it
你坦言 我接纳
Your spirit Would soar
让灵魂升华——
There's no need to conceal
不再遮掩惧怕
What could help you to heal
从此彻底放下
So tell us You're jealous We're zealous
承认吧 你嫉妒他
Cause we've been there before
热心大伙 都是过来人啦！
You'd share it We'd hear it
你坦言 我接纳
Your spirit Would soar
让灵魂升华
Tell us you're jealous
承认吧 你嫉妒他
The truth is a useful tool
诚实是最优解法
Tell us you're jealous
承认吧 你嫉妒他
Let's move on,so we can duel
告别过往 再战一把
Tell us you're jealous
承认吧 你嫉妒他
You don't have to play pretend
不要假装无牵无挂
Tell us you're jealous
承认吧 你嫉妒他
Or this song will never end——!
否则这歌不会停下——
I'm jealous!
我嫉妒了！
I knew it.
我知道。
Alhaitham?!
艾尔海森？！
Yay!
耶！
注释及外部链接
- ↑ 原发布地址见原作品B站视频评论区，此处有少量笔误修正；红字文案部分由NaitoNeko翻译。